Your worst fears have now been confirmed ... you're pregnant! You are afraid, confused, angry ... and feeling very much alone.
You are asking yourself:
What am I going to do?
What will people say?
What will my parents say?
How will the baby's father react?
Will my boyfriend or husband leave me?
Who can I turn to?
By now you've made a mental list of the people you would normally talk to in a time of crisis -- your best friend, your parents, perhaps someone from work or church. But just the thought of telling someone -- anyone -- sends you into a panic! And then there is that sinking feeling deep inside you that says, "There is no one who really understands my situation, or knows what I am going through."
What's more, you begin to suspect that there will be no one to really care about you or your baby. Only one thing seems certain -- painful choices lie ahead.
Whether the news of your pregnancy will elicit loving support or total condemnation from those around you, one fact remains: There is someone who cares -- God loves you unconditionally!
And though it may be hard to believe right now, God can bring something good out of what appears to be something terrible happening in your life.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jer. 29:11)
You may feel that your pregnancy is a barrier between you and God, making it impossible for you to turn to Him. Don't you believe it!
God created you and your child, and both of you are precious to Him. He has a plan for both your lives. Because of your pregnancy you will never again be the same person you were -- but if you look to God in this time of crisis, He will be a source of great comfort and hope.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. (Psalm 32:8)
Your First Decision
You have many decisions ahead, and some of them will be painful no matter what you decide. There is, however, one decision you can make right now that will help you through this time as well as the rest of your life -- and that is to commit your life to God.
If you have never asked God into your heart and don't know how, it's easy. It's so simple that many people think it can't be for real . . . but it is! God knew that not one of us would be able to personally make up for the things He doesn't want us to do. (This is called sinning or rebelling against God.) So He sent His Son Jesus to pay the penalty for the sins of every person once and for all.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Rom. 3:23)
While this may be hard for you to understand just now, all you need to do is believe that Jesus died for you, confess to God that there is sin in your life, and accept His forgiveness and His gift of eternal life.
Don't wait another moment, pray this prayer right now and put God in charge of your life:
Dear Lord Jesus, I believe that You are the Son of God. I believe that You died for my sins and rose from the grave. I invite You into my heart and receive You right now. Thank You for forgiveness. Thank You for a new life. Help me to be what You want me to be and live your life through me. Amen.
Have you invited Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior? Send us an e-mail so that we can pray with you and give you some resources to help you in your relationship with God. Or you can call our 24-hour prayer line at 1-800-759-0700.
You have just made the most important decision of your life by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. With Him by your side, you are ready to face the road ahead. And you can face it with the assurance of God's promise:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Rom. 8:28)
That means that God will cause even this pregnancy to work together for your good. And He will see you through the challenging moments and difficult decisions of the next few months.
Isn't Abortion The Only Choice?
As your pregnancy becomes obvious, don't be surprised if some people are unable to deal with it. Many people, including some who are very dear to you, will be uncomfortable and embarrassed about your condition. Some of your friends may actually turn against you and reject you. If you are a teenager or living at home, you may have to face negative feelings from your parents. If you are married and this pregnancy was not planned, you may even have to face rejection from your own husband. It is vitally important that you do not let the negative reactions of others influence your decisions or put you on a guilt trip! This is your life, your baby, and your future, not theirs.
To disapproving friends or relatives, your pregnancy represents embarrassment, inconvenience, or hardship, and they may possibly pressure you to have an abortion. They will tell you that abortion is readily available and affordable; that abortion is quick and safe; that abortion can make your pregnancy disappear, just as if it never happened; that you can go back to being the same person you were before you became pregnant and no one will be the wiser.
While these people may have the best of intentions, their "solutions" are misguided. If you listen to them, you may be convinced that having an abortion is the answer to your crisis pregnancy. It's tempting to think that you could pick up your life where you left off and that maybe it's the "right thing to do." But understand that almost all of the arguments for abortion are deceiving. Look at a few of the facts that abortion counselors probably won't tell you:
* Abortion is big business. It is unregulated, cash--oriented, and highly profitable.
* Abortion counselors do not want you to know you really have a choice. They have been carefully trained to sell you on abortion.
* Abortion clinics are not safe. In many cases abortion is outright dangerous! Some of the nation's largest abortion clinics use unlicensed physicians in unsanitary and rushed conditions.
* Abortion clinics sometimes skip "routine" procedures like sterilizing instruments when the waiting room is full.
* Complications and deaths resulting from legal abortions are falsely or routinely unreported.
* A "fetus" is a fully-formed unique individual with its own genetic code from the moment of conception. At 18 days, your baby's heart begins to beat.
* Legal abortion can leave permanent physical impairment including sterility and loss of your uterus.
Sadly, these are only a few of the disturbing facts about abortion. The truth is that aborting your baby will not solve your problem, it will only lead to a new set of problems. A growing amount of evidence indicates that the despair and guilt-ladened post-abortion experience may be even more traumatic than the pre-abortion period of decision making. The emotional effects of an abortion can last for several hours or several years. Known as post-abortion syndrome (PAS), many women suffer reactions that include:
* Depression, regret, or remorse;
* Low self-esteem;
* Nightmares;
* Fear of infertility;
* Alcoholism and/or drug abuse;
* Flashbacks of the abortion procedure; or
* Anniversary syndrome -- remembering the anniversary date of the abortion or what would have been the baby's birthday.
Imagine trying to live the rest of your life with the knowledge that you killed your unborn child!
And finally, because God is the Creator of all life, He does not want us to destroy it. It is priceless and precious to Him, and He has a plan for each and every one of us.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Ps. 139:13-16)
He will give you a purpose and a hope as you see your pregnancy through. It may seem like the toughest choice, but with God in your heart, you and your baby will make it!
Reach Out For Help
You may be thinking, "But you don't understand -- I need everything! I have no money, no doctor, and no place to live. Surely no stranger is going to give me all these things."
In every community, there are people and places who will help you meet the needs of every stage of your pregnancy. Crisis pregnancy centers, counselors, churches, and good, loving people will help provide or arrange the following services and more:
* Ongoing personal counseling;
* Counseling as needed with parents, boyfriend or husband;
* Schooling assistance;
* Prenatal and postnatal guidance;
* Medical care;
* Financial assistance;
* Adoption services, if necessary;
* Legal aid, if necessary;
* Housing;
* Household furnishings; and
* Maternity clothes and baby items.
To find a pregnancy care center in your area, call (800) 395-HELP. Or you can log on to www.optionline.org. You can find other people who can help you by looking in the Yellow Pages of your phone directory under "Abortion Alternatives."
There is Hope!
Let God prove to you beyond any shadow of doubt that He is who He says He is, and that He will keep all His promises to those who believe. Most importantly, forgive yourself for getting into this situation. Although this pregnancy may not have been planned, have confidence that God can bring great blessing out of any crisis.
The coming days will be challenging, frightening, and sometimes even depressing -- but don't look back! Look ahead to your new life with Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You and your baby are in His hands.
You Have A Friend
If you've had an abortion, the first thing you need to know is that Jesus Christ forgives you -- even if you find it difficult to forgive yourself. He wants you to put an end to those self-torturing "if only I had . . ." speculations once and for all. At the time you had your abortion, you may have felt you had no choice, or maybe others pressured you. Whatever the reason, it is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it.
But there is something you can do to change how you're feeling right now. And that is to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. As God's own Son, Jesus came into this world to experience the trials and temptations that are a part of everyday life. He did that because He loves us so much and because He wanted to feel what we feel.
God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so in Him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Then, in an ultimate act of love, He died on the cross to pay the price for our sins, so that we could have a relationship with God and go to Heaven when we die.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16).
So Jesus Christ not only understands physical pain and suffering, but He also understands emotional pain and suffering. He cares! And He's waiting for you to come to Him and ask Him into your heart. He is a true friend, one who will listen to you and not condemn you. Maybe you never let anyone know that you had an abortion or maybe you've tried to bury your pain. Talk to Jesus, cry out to Him and He will comfort you -- lovingly and gently.
Don't wait another moment. Accept God's forgiveness for what you have done and receive His gift of eternal life. (You may want to use the prayer previously mentioned above as a guideline.) Just believe that Jesus died for you and confess to God your sins.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
Once you commit your life to Jesus, your sins are forgiven - like a slate that's been wiped clean.
I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. (Isaiah 43:25)
Your New Life With Christ
You've just entered a new and exciting phase of your life, but bear in mind that all your problems will not miraculously disappear. However, God will give you the strength and the courage to deal with whatever may come your way.
Above all, be assured that God can bring a blessing out of any crisis, and He will use these trials to help you grow. Reading the Bible and attending church will strengthen your faith and prepare you for the challenges to come.
When moments of guilt and depression try to creep back, tell Jesus your fears and how you feel. Often, you will be reminded of your past and you may feel that you haven't been forgiven, but that isn't so! Don't look back! The Bible says that in Christ, old things (sins) pass away and all things become new (2 Cor. 5:17). Once you let go of the past, you will have peace and hope. Look ahead to your new life with Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You are in His hands.
They Are In His Care
It's okay for you to grieve and mourn for your aborted child. In fact, as your emotional healing takes place, your feelings may range from anger, to guilt, to sorrow, to numbness. But remember, with Jesus at your side, you're not alone. And you can take comfort in knowing:
Your child is with God in Heaven and is under His care.
Your sin is forgiven and one day, you too will be in Heaven through God's gift of eternal life.
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